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Seeking Sole Custody After Divorce: Five Steps to Prepare

Ariel Lee · October 18, 2018 ·

Updated September 16, 2026. This article has been revised for California readers.

Parents sometimes use “full custody” to describe several different goals. In California, legal custody concerns important decisions for a child, while physical custody concerns where the child lives. An appropriate request begins with the child’s needs and the facts, not a promise that one parent will win.

1. Understand the existing orders

Bring the current judgment, custody orders, and parenting schedule to your consultation. Identify what you want to change and why. The legal requirements can depend on whether an order is temporary or final and the type of change requested.

2. Describe the child’s needs

Explain the child’s routine, schooling, health needs, and relationships. Focus on concrete concerns: missed exchanges, an unworkable schedule, or a specific safety issue. Separate what you observed from what someone else told you.

3. Organize relevant records

Keep a factual chronology and preserve relevant messages and documents. Your attorney can help determine what evidence is useful and how it should be presented. Do not coach children, pressure them to choose a parent, or access another person’s private accounts.

4. Propose a workable parenting plan

Consider decision-making, school schedules, holidays, transportation, and safe exchanges. Where appropriate, a plan may include safeguards such as supervised visitation. Tell counsel about domestic violence or other safety concerns so the requested arrangements address them.

5. Follow the court process

A request may require forms, service, mediation, and a hearing. Local procedures and the facts affect the next steps. Continue to follow existing orders unless they are changed, and seek prompt legal advice if an emergency arises.

Keep the focus on the child

There is no five-step formula that guarantees sole custody. A consultation can help clarify the requested change, the evidence needed, and the available options for your family.

California Courts: custody and parenting time orders

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